where the f*ck am I?

Photo by Joanna Skrzypczak

Holy schmoly. It’s 2016.

I’ve had the striking realization that every day I choose what I’m doing with my life. Or at the least, my attitude about life.

Lately my attitude has been: life’s good, Brooklyn is great, smile smile smile, wait, NO, FEAR OF FAILURE, OHMYGOD, OMGOMGOMG, I DON’T WANT TO GROW UP, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really wish I was one of those super cool put together girls who effortlessly flies through life with her big hair and tiny chin (I’ve been feeling self-conscious about my chin lately, okay?). But alas, I’m a normal. A normal human bean who feels normal human fear. (And — sigh — has a weird chin.)

To slap myself in the face and get back to reality (aka this deadline I’m avoiding, ha…), I’m writing down what I do when the anxieties come and seriously need to go. Because the c’est la vie motto is a little too uninspiring and sometimes you just need to skip to the next, better part, ya know?

1. Break one of your regular bad habits. Whatever it is, just don’t do it for as long as you’re feeling anxious.
2. Cut out reading or listening to non-fiction. Unless it’s written by Viktor Frankl, it’s mostly anxiety-inducing stuff.
3. Cut out “guilty pleasure” TV shows that make you feel awful afterwards.
4. Basically, don’t consume anything that makes you feel like crap. Gossip blogs, Instagram feeds, etcetera etcetera. Instead, opt for things you love, like James Corden videos and a really good homemade meal.
5. Talk to a friend or a loved one old school style whether over phone or in person.
6. Write a new blog post or post on social media.
7. Do something small that brings you joy, even if it seems as silly or as insignificant as watching an old iPhone video of your husband (who’s been out of town for far too long) being lame-cute.
8. Put on your favorite outfit.
9. Sit up straight.
10. Remember that you’re not one thing, but the sum of a lot of things that you choose to be and to surround yourself with — including good thoughts.